The Toilet Paper Dildo

She was so beautiful.  I was a little intimidated, and it takes a lot to intimidate me but I ignored that inner voice that was telling me she was going to be a megabitch and moved on. 
Hello I’m Kate nice to meet you.
She smiled and shook my hand.  We walked over to my chair.  In my experience very beautiful women come in two flavors:  nice and normal or evil psycho.  To my happy surprise she was not the latter.  Jane was a wife and mother of four.  She was going out with her husband for her birthday.  She just had her makeup done and now it was time for hair, my department.
Jane had an exotic look.  You really couldn’t tell what her background was but you could tell that she was multi ethnic.  She had large almond shaped eyes, full lips, and long curly hair perfect for putting up for the festivities of the night.  Jane was so excited just to get out for the night a hard working woman just grateful for someone to be taking care of her for a change. 
I asked the dreaded question.  So, what do you do?
This question can bite you in the ass if the answer is.  I’m a hairdresser too!  And sometimes you’ll get yeah I’m a hairdresser so you better do a good job response.  (Yes I have had asshole customers say that to me verbatim).
Hot damn!  Jane worked in a women’s prison!  What!?  This woman was no joke.   I am amazed at people that work in such places.  I would be terrified.  I have met people before that work in the prison system and some have told me they would never work in a women’s prison.  Women are nasty. I’ve heard stories of guards having used tampons and menstrual blood hurled at them.  She told me how jaded she was.  Jane started out in a juvenile correctional facility.  She would deal with 12 year olds who raped their 5 year old sister because their dad raped them.  “I don’t trust anyone with my children”.  Yeah I was thinking I don’t blame you we live in a sick world.
Jane said there was never a dull moment at work.  I could only imagine.  A few years ago almost all the women in the section became ill.  They came down with “Trich”.   Trichomonas is a very treatable S.T.D. characterized by itching, burning and redness of the genitals.  Wonderful, the doctors couldn’t figure out how so many inmates had contracted the infection.   Then they did… a toilet paper dildo.  What?!  One of the inmates made a dildo out of toilet paper.  Just like paper mache they would wet and mold and wet and mold until they created this masterpiece.  The problem was they were all sharing in its use.   Hence the outbreak.  Just when I thought I had heard everything, who knew you could make a sex toy out of toilet paper.  I will stick to my Rabbit, and do my best to stay out of prison.