Sunday, November 18, 2012

I Know Your Hair Is Fake

                                                             I Know Your Hair Is Fake   
Hair extensions, weaves, clip ins; many of us use these hair enhancements.  But, most women don’t advertise it.  The worst thing you could do aside from walking up to a woman and pulling her hair is asking “is that your real hair?”  Don’t do it, ever.
Enter Maggie a salon regular.  She never gets her hair done only nails.  It’s a shame too because her hair always looks slightly unkempt.  Whenever I see her the phrase “rode hard and put away wet” comes to mind.  She is a bleach blonde around 50ish, but like a 50 I’ve spent my youth drinking and doing lots of drugs.  Her nose is always red, a sign of a hard drinker.  She always gives me a creepy stare. 
One day I was walking past her, she was getting a manicure.  I smiled like I do to all customers that I make eye contact with.  She beckoned me over to her.
“Hi” I said “Hi, I was wondering is that your real hair?”
“Yes” I said thinking you rude little bitch!
“Oh well my boyfriend is black” where the fuck is this going??  “And he says that all black women have fake hair.”  WOW!
“Really?”  “Yes, he really hates black women he only likes blondes like me.”  I could see she was trying to offend me but I could give two shits about her boyfriend or what he thinks.
“I think your boyfriend needs therapy” She just looked at me.  “Well not all black women have fake hair and it’s a shame that he thinks that.”  “I have to go.” 
Later her nail tech told me how pissed she was that Maggie was such an ass.  “Do you know what she talks about during her nail service?”    I was afraid to ask.  “She talks about how her boyfriend wants her to take it up the ass but she doesn’t want to do it, his dick is so big she’s afraid.”   Wow.  Why do people think we want to hear this stuff?  
So the last time I got my hair done I had my stylist make my weave, yes I said it weave a little longer.   And whenever I see MS. Rode hard put away wet red nosed rude biach I think about her taking a big black cock up her ass.  And she looks at me with an annoying smirk as if she’s thinking “I know your hair is fake.”  My hair is paid for so that makes it mine, and when I am in my 50s I won’t look like you.  Thank God.